My Story [I need your Attention]

I need your attention

     Some might call me selfish, self centered, and stupid. But I say I'm desperate. He never looks at me anymore. He never asks me how I am. He only pays attention to the tramps he brings to the hotel. Everyday a new one, every night he searches for a companion. My company isn’t enough anymore. Things didn’t used to be this bad. If I think back to about 2 years ago he used to care about me much more.

  "Hey little bruder. What’s up?” Tom asked sitting next to me on my bed.

   "I'm okay. Could be better if my voice didn’t feel so exhausted." I smiled absentmindedly.

He stayed with me the whole day and took care of me. Not caring that he had other affairs to tend to. He only cared about me.

   Those were the days I missed. But now Tom only cared about Tom and getting his women. He didn’t care about his little brother anymore. He didn’t care about if I needed him or wanted him around. He called me a baby because I didn’t want him to go out tonight. But it’s been 4 months since I’ve had him to myself. 4 months since I’ve been with him. Yes I'm with him every day but that’s different, that’s the time spent with the band. When I want him I want only him. Not Georg, Gustav or David around. I missed my brother and he wasn’t paying attention.

    I had to come up with a plan. Something that would get him to pay attention to me no matter what he wanted. Something that would make sure he didn’t or couldn’t keep from thinking about me. But I had to be sneaky about it. I had to make sure he didn’t suspect a thing.

     "Hey Bill... Are you still mad?" He asked walking out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

     "No Tomi, I’ve decided to get over it. I guess I was being childish. I'm sorry." I said walking past him patting his shoulder. What I really wanted to say was. ‘Yes I’m still mad you idiot! But after tonight you’re going to be sorry. You’re going to be begging to be with me but it will be too late!’ But I kept those words bottled up inside.

     "Well gut, mein gott Bill I didn’t want you to be mad forever. But I'm glad you came to your senses. Are you coming out tonight?" My twin called from the other room.

  ‘No you idiot. I have big plans for when you return and I need to prepare.’

 "Um no, I think I’ll stay in and watch movies. I have a headache and don’t feel like being around any drunken people." I said. Even though it was a lie. I didn’t care so much about drunken people. They were actually quite entertaining. 

  Tom walked into the bathroom. He was fully dressed now. In a black XXl tee shirt and matching dark jeans with his favorite Tom cap on. His nikes with a white and black hoodie. I wasn’t too fond of people that dressed in such baggy clothes but my older twin never looked better in his favorite attair.

      I lay in bed and thought for awhile. I wanted to end all this pain. I knew that after tonight I could never take it back, I could never change what would happen. And he would forever be thinking about me.

        I walked over to the drawer and grabbed the razorblade from the bottom drawer. I went to the bathroom and wrote ‘Attention’ on the huge mirror in black eyeliner. They would all hate him for this, and he would forever be in guilt. I headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower. I figured I would clean myself up before I did anything.

    My shower was long and calming. I wasn’t afraid of doing it, I was just afraid someone might try and stop me. Dying isn’t my fear; living without his attention is what scares me the most.

    Once I was done and dressed my phone rang. The first call I ignored. It was Geo, but the second one I picked up.

“Hello?”

“Bill! Bill! It’s Tom! He’s... Oh god!”

     My heart started beating faster the longer it took for him to tell me. “Georg what’s wrong? What happened to him?” He was silent and just told me to come to the hospital downtown. I hung up the phone and sat there staring at the razorblade.

    I ran to my jacket and ran straight to the car. When I got to the hospital they rushed me to urgent care. Tom was lying there, with all these machines plugged up to him.

I ran to Geo and asked what happened.

   “I don’t know. First we were having a few drinks then he started crying about how you have been ignoring and avoiding him… Then he took a whole bottle of vodka and hopped in the car. He was… He was trying to kill himself. You should see the car, it looks terrible. They still don’t know how he survived.”

   The rest of what Geo said wasn’t important. But Tom thought I was ignoring him, that I wasn’t giving him any attention. I was so wrapped up in my own feelings I never noticed him.

   Just then I broke down in tears, I put my hands in my pocket and felt the razorblade. I looked at my brother who was still unconscious on the hospital bed. I knew what I had to do, I walked over to the bed and kissed Tom on the forehead. “You will make it brother. Forever and always, I love you.” I walked away and walked to the hall bathroom.

   I locked the door and looked in the mirror. I stared at myself. “It’s not about you anymore Bill. It never was.” I said pulling the razor against the thin skin of my wrists; vertically because horizontally just doesn’t work. I felt the blood rush down my arms onto my hands. I fell to the ground praying that my soul and energy returned to Tom. I know it sounds crazy but I feel that taking my life would give Tom his. And I would do anything to make sure he lives.

Miracles can come true

     Just as Bill’s life was slipping away, Tom was beginning to awake. Georg went looking for Bill while Gustav was watching after Tom. Just so he could see a familiar face when he woke. Gustav listened to the mumbles from Tom’s mouth. “Bill. Trouble. Hurt.” Tom repeated, the words only growing louder.

     Gustav didn’t think anything of it. Since Tom had been out so long it could’ve been a dream. But Tom was determined to get his attention I the right place.

    Georg was standing outside of the bathroom. “Bill! Tom is waking. Come on, hurry!” He yelled against the door. Bill was on the other side just barely holding on to life. He stared at the door with lazy dying eyes and cried. He wanted to see his brother one last time. But he was too weak to get up.

Georg began banging on the door. “Bill open the door please! What’s wrong, Tom is okay! Talk to me!” He screamed.

    Tom reached for Gustav and pulled him close. “Save Bill please.” He cried. “He’s in trouble, right now!” He tried to scream.

    Gustav stared at him, and then nodded. “I’ll be back.” Gustav raced to the nearest nurse. “Come with e please!” He pulled on her arm. Gustav wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing. But usually when Tom or Bill sensed something with each other it was always right.

   He pulled her to the bathroom where he found Georg. “He won’t come out; he won’t even talk to me. I think something’s wrong.” Georg said looking devastated.

The nurse pulled out a large set of keys and unlocked the door.

     “Bill!” Gustav and Georg screamed running to his body lying on the floor paler than usual. The nurse called for a doctor as Georg carried him to the gurney.

    When the doctor came to the room they placed Bill in, Georg and Gustav were told to wait outside. The doctor came to tell them that there was no saving Bill. He had been alone too long.

    Gustav and Georg cried on the way back to Tom’s room. When they returned Tom was sitting up staring at the wall. “Where’s Bill?” He asked coldly.

    Part of Gustav felt like Tom already knew. Georg was silent. Tom didn’t turn to look at them. “He’s gone isn’t he? He took his life because of me? Because I couldn’t just talk to him.” Tom said still staring at the wall. There were tears pouring out of his eyes, but he didn’t let it change his face.

   Tom wasn’t listening anymore. He was trying to sense his brother but it wasn’t working. He knew Bill was gone and that it was for him. He knew Bill took his own life because he believed it could save him. But Bill was wrong, Tom still died. Tom died the moment Bill’s heart stop beating.

Class Review/ Feedback

The poetry unit was very fun, and I loved the writing short stories. I think that the lyrics presentations were a great idea. Just cause it gets people to hear new music. Overall I thik the class was fun. I'm very into writing so I knew I would like the class.


I don't really like having to write about a specific topic, so maybe a little more freedom with the short story. Like have like three writing topics instead of just one.

My own Restaurant [Daily journal]

The place would be called The Scene and it would serve all kinds of food. Like little variety of all kinds of food. Then it would be located in uptown minneapolis. I would have different bands performing everynight. Like local bands to give them exposure and support. Then at night it would be like a listening bar too so that people can come and hear the bands.

My story.. New Zonia: Humanoid

New Zonia: Humanoid

Prologue

I felt my head spin. I don’t know who these people were who had taken me but they had. I felt my body being strapped to a cold table. I tried to yell but I heard no sound. I tried moving my body but I couldn’t feel anything. My vision was burry and I couldn’t make out any of the shapes in form of me. Soon I felt completely cut off from the world.

My mind was empty all I could think about was if I was dead or if I was just sleeping. I felt like I was in a dream world now, except this dream never ended. Nothing ever changed. I knew I was dreaming because the world was blank, no trees no people just me and my loneliness. I missed my family, I missed my friends, and I missed my girlfriend. I couldn’t imagine how they felt not knowing where I was or what had happened to me.

After what felt like literally forever I felt myself slipping away from the dream I was having. I felt my feelings come back the physical ones anyways. I could see the shapes in front of me moving. There was someone above me talking but I couldn’t make out the words or the face. I saw I bright light wave over my face then I felt pressure on my arm.

What has happened to me? What did these people do to me? Why am I here? So many questions ran through my head as the feeling in my body returned. Although I could feel it felt as though my limbs haven’t moved in years. Though I couldn’t have been out for longer than a day. Too bad I would find out the truth and it would definitely send me over the edge.

New Zonia: Humanoid

Book One

“Vitals are good doctor. She’s beginning to move on her own.” The woman above me said pulled at my limbs lightly. I wasn’t sure what she meant and what doctor? Was I in the hospital? Did they find me? “What’s going on? Where am I?” I asked trying to lift my body from the table. “Calm down Keely Renee, your body hasn’t fully recovered yet. Once it has and the tests are done. The doctor will explain everything.” She waved a light over my eyes again. Then I felt pressure on my chest and then I was out again.

Waking up this time not strapped to the cold table but this time in a bed, a warm bed at that. I snapped up and looked around. I was in a room with two dressers, a bed and a large window. Except outside this window it looked like a totally different world. I rose from the bed and walked over to the longer dresser. There were clothes folded with some device on top. When I picked up the device a light flashed and a picture shot out of it. Except the picture looked like an actual person. A woman, the same woman from the first time I woke up. “Hello Keely Renee, I know things must be very confusing for you. But all will become clear once you are dress and report to the briefing room down the hall from your room.” She smiled.

“Uh is it normal for me to be completely freaked out?” I asked staring at the holographic woman standing in the room.

She laughed. “Actually yes, if you weren’t freaked out then we might have doubts about you. Now hurry and get dress there is much to be discussed. Make sure you keep this. I have to make sure I can contact you at all times, I’ll explain more once we meet.”

I nodded and then she was gone. The device shut off and laid it back on the dresser. I changed into the clothes that were left out. It was a tight black leather jumper and had black boots to match. I felt like someone from Charlie’s angel and it didn’t feel too great. But I was in no position to cross these people because I had no idea where I was and what was going to happen to me.

When I walked down the hallway I saw others dressed in similar outfits to mines. Except the guy’s outfits didn’t look so snug. I wish I could trade with them. There were lots of people most of them said hi to me. But there were some who just ignored me. I didn’t care either way until I figured I was lost. I found the friendliest looking person to ask for directions.

“Uh, excuse me?” I said to the dark haired girl. She had perfect features and an eyebrow piercing that matched mines.

“Huh? Oh me. What?” She asked smiling.

“Oh hey, yeah I’m Keely Renee. I need help finding a briefing room.” I said almost sounding like a question because I was so confused.

She looked me up and down. “You must be new. Well I’m Bill and the briefing room is… Never mind I’ll show you.” Bill grabbed my hand and pulled me in the opposite direction. I felt kind of bad for thinking he was a girl at first but his features were so feminine and same with his frame. We walked back towards where my room was then hit the first left into a large room with huge windows that revealed the city outside that I still didn’t recognize.

The tall woman stood up. I remembered the face, those amber eyes, soft cheekbones, blonde ringlets and Carmel skin tone. She smiled.

“Ah thank you Bill. I was beginning to worry we had lost her.” She walked over and shook Bill’s hand. “But if you could stay that would be greatly appreciated. I might need your assistance.” He nodded and smiled.

“Yes Kairo. I’ll take my pace over here. Nice to meet you Keely Renee, and don’t worry I’m not mad that you thought I was a woman beforehand. I get that all the time.” Kairo and Bill both laughed.

Kairo turned to me. “Now for the important things. Hello Keely Renee, I am Kairo. And this is Zonia.” She said gesturing to the world outside the windows. I walked over to the window and watched the traffic that wasn’t on the ground but right at eye level with the window. Mind you the window was about 15 stories in the air.

I laughed. “What is this place?” I asked turning to Bill and Kairo. They both smiled and Kairo walked towards me. “This is Zonia, the Humanoid capital of the world.” She continued.

“The what? Humanoid? What is that?” I asked getting more and more confused.

“Oh my apologies, Humanoid. It’s the alpha race of the world now. A human and robot combined. Only more advance than ever before. With all the disease and catastrophe around the world. The year you were preserved, was the worse for humans but a breakthrough for Humanoids.” She smiled and sat on the table a little. “You were one of chosen few to be preserved and brought to a time where your transformation would be astonishing for this life.” She continued. “Most of all you will be one of my top humanoid captains.” With that Bill sprung up.

“What!?!?” he screamed. “She’s just a day old. Do you know how long training will take?! She can’t be a captain yet, not on my watch!”

Kairo stood up. “She will be whatever I say she is and you will do as you are told Bill!” Kairo snapped.

I rolled my eyes. “What if I don’t want to be a… captain?”

Kairo turned. Her face was still a little fierce but she changed it quickly. Now she was smiling. “Well my dear you don’t really have a choice.” She laughed. “Bill you will show her everything. Understood?” She peered at him.

Bill sighed. “Yes ma’am. Come on.” He ordered gesturing to me.

I followed him out of the room. I tried apologizing but he wouldn’t have it. I knew this was going to be a bumpy road for the two of us. He brought me to this large cafeteria like place where there were many people. Some dressed like me and then some dressed in what looked like old rags. I couldn’t help but stare until Bill broke the silence.

“They’re humans.” He stated handing me a tray. “They’ve been imprisoned for trying to overthrow Kairo’s sector.”

We grabbed food and then got to a table with three other guys sitting there. One of them looked a lot like Bill except more masculine. Bill introduced him as Tom, his twin brother. Then there was Gustav and Georg.

“Hi. I’m Keely Renee.” I said sitting slowly.

Tom smiled. “So little brother we send you off to work and you bring back a girlfriend. Nice.” He winked at me.

Bill rolled his eyes. “She isn’t my girlfriend. Actually she’s your new captain.”

With that Tom, Georg and Gustav’s jaws dropped. Tom huffed. “She’s a what?!?!” He spat out frowning at Bill.

I laughed. These guys really must hate seeing a woman in authority higher than their own. “Look I don’t want to be any trouble. I just want to do my job and find out some answers.”

Bill and Tom were looking at each other as if they were having a silent conversation. Finally Tom spoke. “So she’s the one Kairo has been saving?” He asked looking at me.

Bill shrugged. “Apparently.”

Tom was now staring at me. But not as he did before, this time he was scanning over my body, almost in admiration. I rolled my eyes. “Is there something I could help you with?” I asked staring back at him.

He smiled crookedly. “Well actually, you might be able to--”

Bill cut his brother off. “Not such a good idea brother.” He said gesturing behind me. I turned to find that they were staring at Kairo. She was standing there with about 3 guards around her.

Once I saw her I wondered what they were talking about. Why did Kairo save me? What was so special about me?

After we ate I started combat training with Bill and the others. I caught on pretty quickly besides the fact that Tom was very cocky and obviously a bit stronger than me.

For the next couple of weeks I was getting pretty good with combat training I was even getting better than Tom. He didn’t like that too much at all. Bill was even starting to be nicer to me. Gustav and Georg were never actually a problem. Since Gustav never really spoke and Georg was too busy bothering Tom all the time.

I was sitting with Tom in the cafeteria. “So, who are we training to fight?”

Tom laughed. “Zuka’s army of humanoids. He’s planning to take over Kairo’s sector. And we can’t let that happen.”

I sighed. “Sheesh.”  This new world and life was beginning to be too much for me.

Tom laughed. “Zuka was Kairo’s partner and Lover but one day he just flipped about 60 years ago I think. That’s when he took some humanoids with him and built his own city sector about 3000 miles north. They’ve been battling ever since.”

“Come on. We’re supposed to meet Kairo. She has some news about you.” Tom said pulling me up by my hand.

For the past couple months of training I have gotten really close to Tom. You can say that I have a mild crush on him. We walked hand in hand to the main conference room.

Kairo and Bill were sitting there with Georg and Gustav. Georg and Gustav smiled at me. I sat on the chair directly across from Kairo and Tom stood behind me.

“Keely, Tom nice of you to join us. Alright so were here to talk about you.” She said staring at me. “I thought I should fill you in on those tests we’ve been doing on you.”

“Right.” I said raising my eyebrow at Kairo.

“Well, I must let you know that you are not at all an average Humanoid. You were specially chosen because as a human you held a special set of skills far beyond any human I have ever known.” She said smiling.

“Say what?” I asked in confusion. Special skills I thought. Like what? Can I fly?

“Well, for one you can read minds. Any mind you think of you can read it. You are the strongest of all and you heal. Self-healing at that.” She laughed. “That is why I kept you asleep so long, and why you’ve been having all these tests.” She smiled.

I just stared at her. I looked around the room and I heard her tell me to try and read Tom’s mind. I turned and looked at him. He was smiling at me. I concentrated on him for a moment. Then suddenly I heard him speaking except his mouth wasn’t moving. I was in awe and Tom was laughing.

For the next couple of days I was being trained to use all of my skills. The training came very easy after about two days. I was getting really good and soon it didn’t take long for me to read anyone’s mind. I tried to stay away from Tom’s thoughts. Just because he’s not a very appropriate thinker at any time.

I developed rather quickly and Kairo was pleased. Everything that was once so foreign to me became my new way of life. It was easy to live in this world. I even stopped thinking of the old world. The world I grew up in was a distant memory and no longer my concern. No I lived and fought for New Zonia. For Kairo.

Picture [4/42011 Daily Journal]

Harold was beginning to get angry with the mysetrious lump under the rug everytime he would hit it with the chair it would reappear somewhere else. Whenever he would lift up the rug nothing was there he was beginning to think he had gone mad. He swung the chair over and over but everytime it had come back. Sometimes it even mocked at him.

Harold was frightened but he ws trying to hold his ground against whatever was after him.

"Dangnamitt! Go away you bloody ghoul go away!" Harold yelled. He thought maybe the lump was a ghost and he wasnt to fond of that idea.

He yelled and swung the chair even more. He was determined to get rid of whatever it was bothering him if it was the last thing he'd done.

Too bad for him it was the last thing he'd done, as a full bodied person anyways.

"Behind her the noise escalated..." [Daily Journal]

Behind her the noise escalated in to a loud roar as she kocked the lamp and other items from the nightstand. She screamed into the pillow while tears streamed down her face. Ayoki couldnt believe what had happend to her. She neevr thought this could be her. So many stories on the news and movies on tv, it seems to unreal. But this time it wasnt just real, but it was her. She was living this nightmare.

She heard her phone going off across the room, she knew it was Tom. She knew he would want to knwo what happened. But she couldnt tell him, she couldnt tell anyone. Not now. She wasnt even sure if she could speak. She laid on the bed panting and sweating from the anger and sadness she felt. Tears still streaming down her face, she wanted to die. She wanted to end all the pain, thoughts and memories of that horrible moment. Of those horrible moments, she couldnt think of anything else. All she saw when she closed her eyes was his angry face above hers. Forcing himself on her, taking everything she wanted for herself and Tom.

She was thinking of Tom now. How would he feel knowing that she wasnt only his anymore. That someone had taken something she had only given to him. She knew he would hate her. She knew he wouldnt be able to forgive her. Ayoki cried at the thought of losing Tom, the thought of losing everything.

My Spring Break

       It was pretty funn actually. I hung out with my sister and cousin most of the time. Uh the funniest thing that happened was when we all got our tattoos last friday. My sister was screaming like she was being killed when she got her tattoo on her lower back. Like 3 people were recoding her get her tattoos cause it was pretty funny.

      But yeah I got two tattoos. One on my neck, which is two stars. Me my cousin, sister and our bestfriend all got starts on our necks. Then my first tatto i got on friday says "Make Music Not War" which that one is on my forearm. Its not finished yet I want to get a design around it soon.

       So my break was pretty legit. I had a bunch of fun and went shopping like 4 times too haha. I honestly can't wait for the summer break now. Spring break got me pretty amped for the school year to end.